Q. “What do you do when you’ve done one of those things you are afraid of and feel like you failed at it?”

See the answers some of our Secrets Of Her Success Expert Panel members share:


From Lynn Scheurell, Creative Catyalst,  of:  www.MyCreativeCatalyst.com

A. It’s not what happens to us but how we handle and interpret it that matters. So if you deem yourself as having failed, that will be true. However, if you deem yourself as being a student and that you tried something that didn’t work the way you thought, you’ve gifted yourself with a teaching. And it’s even better if you went into your fear to do it… fear is an intangible limitation that, in many cases, hasn’t any real substance. It hides our power, and only by taking action toward it will it dissipate. So, regardless of the outcome, you have already won because you are bigger than your fear.

To give yourself some context, think about how many people have tried things and ‘failed’, only to become icons of success? Michael Jordan was blasted by his high school coach as a terrible player, Colonel Sanders was rejected hundreds of times for his recipe, Mark Victor Hansen got pink slips from hundreds of publishers before someone believe in the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. And there are thousands more examples just like these… so what’s failure when you really get down to it? Pushing beyond what you knew, thought or expected.

So, to answer your specific questions, go do it again in a new way and see what happens next. :+)


From Michelle Casto, Destiny Mentor and Author, www.BrightLightCoach.com

A. There the only true failure is not to even try.  So the fact that you did something you were afraid of already puts  you ahead of 90% of the population.  The trick in stretching yourself comes from what you learned by the attempt.  Perhaps you have more information now which will allow you to try again with better results, or that you learned it is just best to let that particular thing go, or even that you have information that propels you to move onward to something else that is in better alignment.

My favorite idea about failure and mistakes is that if you aren’t making any, you aren’t making much of anything!  Keep on with your positive goals. Keep doing what you afraid to do, keep reaching, stretching, and you will eventually get where you want to go.


From Darcy Volden Hoag – Secrets Of Her Success founder

A. Here’s what I know in this now moment… not every thing we do that we’re afraid of may turn out the way that we would like…and we might even feel like we failed miserably.  Or maybe we do actually “fail”.  What I do know is it’s the power you reclaim for yourself in the having faced it and having tried.

I invite you to play the game I’m playing.  I’ve put together the “30 Days In A Row Challenge” … The challenge simply is, “Can you do something every day for 30 days in a row?”.   My challenge is to do one or more things I’m afraid to do every day.  Today is my 10th day in a row and there has been something so hugely transformational for me over the past 10 days in doing the things I’m afraid of.

I realized in the past that I avoided, distracted, resisted, hid from, denied… any feelings of fear I had in a day.  So in my business, although I was doing a lot of work I wasn’t moving me or my business forward because every time I became afraid to do something I would do something else to not have to feel the fear.  In essence I was procrastinating A LOT!  I certainly got a lot done but not anything that would directly pull in income for my business.

What I discovered too is that I’m afraid of EVERYTHING!  So now what I do is literally allow myself to feel the feelings of fear… and yes, many days I feel like I want to barf or that I’m literally shaking while I’m typing.   But, as I go about my day and I get that barfy, shaky, scaredy-cat feeling that’s my cue to go do it! So, I feel it and go do it… then I check it off my list!  I play the game of knocking off 3-4 things I’m afraid to do every day.   And, what’s funny is my list might seem silly to people.  Sometimes I’m afraid to answer the phone even if it’s a friend.  Or, respond to an email of someone offering to help me… or running an errand… or writing a blog post… or honoring a commitment….

For the first time in my life I actually really get the old adage, “Feel the fear and do it anyway”.   I’ve heard it many times but now I really hear it… if that makes sense.

So, like I said in the beginning.. even if do something that I was afraid to do and I fail at it … or it doesn’t have the outcome I hoped for, at the end of the day I feel like if nothing else I’ve reclaimed my power.   And, it’s also exactly like what Lynn and Michelle shared as well!

Now come play with me and let’s go kick fear’s butt today… and then spit on it for good measure!

“If you can call your FEARS adventure, you will bring in an energy that will HEAL the fear; the energy of excitement; the energy of being inspired by life itself!” ~Neale Donald Walsch

“Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the ‘someday I’ll’ philosophy.”  ~ Denis Waitley


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