Today I am reminded of a really great radio show I did with the founder of www.InspireMeToday.com and www.GlobalHugTour.com, Gail Lynne Goodwin. You can listen to the show here (it’s great if I do say so myself!).
We had an amazing conversation about “unleashing crazy”. Gail is the epitome of playing crazy big full out. We both agreed that having what it is that you want in life requires you to give up looking good and give up looking bad. It’s just what the whole premise of this site is about: What would you do, how big would play, who would you be… if fear didn’t stop you… if you didn’t worry about what people thought of you… if you couldn’t get it wrong… if you couldn’t fail.
I think that if we boil it all down, fear of failure… fear of this… fear or that… it is that we’re so afraid of what others will think of us or how it is that they’ll look at us… or what they’ll say. We get so stuck on worrying about what other people will think or say that we hold ourselves back from just about everything. The funny thing about it is all “those people” are all just as terrified of you! We all walk around scared of each other. It’s just so silly when you think about it.
I agree that sometimes it’s easier said than done. But, it’s really like a muscle that you develop. Believe me, I still deal with it myself but again that’s what this experiment is about… about what’s possible when you can care less about what people think of you and do what brings you joy and makes you happy. I have surrounded myself with a support team to help me when the “worry what people think” bug bites. Spending time in your own head can sometimes be a dangerous place!
Children are so great at just being and doing… they just don’t have a care in the world about what people think. My son was such a great lesson in this one dat. He’s was in 6th grade. One morning he put his shorts on inside out by accident. I noticed it as he got out of the car… seams all over the place, tags protruding, pockets flopped out… all of them! I hollered out the window to let him know. I figured he’d go to the nearest restroom and render them right-side out. Nope! Picked him up in the afternoon sportin’ those inside out shorts. I said, “You didn’t ever turn your shorts back around?”… and he simply said, “Nope”. Gotta love it… not a care in the world about what others would think or say.
It’s amazing what a grip fear of others has on us. Just in writing this post I’ve caught myself at least 3 times thinking that you wouldn’t get anything out of what I was saying and think it was stupid 😉 And, each time I have to remind myself.. it just doesn’t matter.
Gail and I both shared too that one of the things that helps you step beyond fear is having a really clear “why” .. and a stand for your “why”. When you’re clear what your “why” is obstacles, blocks, fear literally start to disappear. Your “why” becomes soooo much bigger than any worry, doubt or fear… so much bigger that everything that doesn’t support that starts to fade far far away.
Now.. add to that your, “what’s at stake”. What’s at stake for you doing what you want to do… or another way to look at is, “what’s at stake” for you NOT doing what you want to do? What doesn’t get to happen by you not doing what it is you want to do?
My “why” with this site is to have the ability to help grant people’s dreams. Then I have to ask, “why is that important to me?”. My answer to that is, it’s important for me to accomplish that because I want people to leave this planet with a smile on their face. What’s at stake for me is my own biggest dream… me leaving this planet knowing that I gave it my best shot… and a smile on my face.
I suggest that you write your why and what’s at stake out and keep it where you can read it any time you get stopped or stuck. Any time you worry about picking up the phone… worry about writing a blog post… asking for something you need. I promise… all that gunk will disappear.
The other important thing we talked about is to not worry about the “how” and the need to know. Get rid of your big ‘but’s’ (that’s a whole other post!). Just GO!! All you’re worried about with the how and knowing is worry about what people will think if you don’t do it right or don’t get it right… again, fear of not looking good or fear of looking bad.
Here’s what Gail and I both say about our big crazy projects…. we don’t have a clue what we’re doing! She and I are just both running with it… however it looks. All we know is our why… and the rest will follow… and boy has it! Both of us will tell you that what is showing up and being created in the realm of “being clueless and crazy” is far more than we could ever predicted or imagined.
The moral of this story is: Let your freak flag fly! Run with it, baby! There’s no time to figure it out. Trust that it’s all working itself out perfectly…no matter what anyone thinks or says. Never forget your why!
Quotes Of The Day:
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.” — Harold Whitman
“Stop it now. Stop all the pretense that you are not gorgeous, wonderful, and talented. You no longer have time to waste in such insignificant things. Drop any thought that gets in the way of your expansion…and decide to just do it. Now.” –Dee Light
Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody is watching. –Mark Twain